DJ Dan July 5 transcript
A= Announcer D= DJ Dan T= Tanya C#= Callers 1-? ---- A: Coming to you live from Stonehenge....DAN JINGLE You're listening to DJ Dan, shutting down The Man. D: Yep, we're coming to you live, and I'm shuttin down The Man, that's the plan, so you don't know the what hit the fan. So much for my hip hop career. T: Come on, Dan, you're old school. D: Yep, hang a grandfather clock around my neck, that's how old school I am. Speaking of, I call myself a DJ, but how often do you actually hear me play music? Yeah, jump on that, Conspiraspies. We're havin a good time today, ladies and GMOs. We're in our blue track suits. We have our name brand white sneakers. That's right, we're celebrating the anniversary of.... Heaven's Gate! cheers Cults, people, we're talking about cults. Tonya, do you have a favorite? T: Uh, what about those guys, with the red scarves, you know, who just said they cloned their leader? D: Good one, but you know, I mean, I have a soft spot for the Heaven's Gaters, you know, the sheer ambition, just gets to me, okay. They killed themselves to hitch a ride on a comet. Kinda poetic. So, my sweet conspiraspies, are you in a cult? Were you in a cult? Are you about to drink the Kool Aid? Are ya makin the Kool Aid? Call us first! Tell us all about it! Lets take Mike from Texas - soooweey! Mike, you got a shotgun under the seat? C1: You betcha, DJ Dan. D: Don't mess with Mikey! Mike, what is your cult connection? M: Well, I'm listenin to The Cult... D: That's a band, you dink. People, do I have to explain? No self respecting cult calls itself a cult. The Cult itself is not a cult. And even if it spawned a cult, it certainly would not be a cult.... SHUTDOWN! Bo from Minnesota... I hear you spotted a cult in your hometown. C2: Yes sir, my nephew joined these bald chanting guys, you know, dancing, handing out flowers in the street... D: Chanting guys? Chanting Guys?!? They're not a cult! Everyone knows they're a front for extra-terrestrials - SHUTDOWN!! Come on People, give me something real. Anthony from Petoskey, Michigan. That in the thumb, Anthony? C3: Um, its more in the pinky finger. Anyways, DJ Dan, I think my grandma was in a cult. D: Grandmas don't join cults, SHUTDOWN! Just kidding. Continue, I am captivated. C3: Um, well, she was getting her doctorate in I think psych at the University of Michigan in the 60s. And she joined this group, I guess, called the Karma Imperative, or something... D: The Karma Imperative? Okay now, THAT sounds like a cult. C3: Yeah, and um, well, she told my mom about how she was going with the Karma Imperative to some place in the South Pacific. D: Island, continent, cruise ship? What are we talkin about here? Come on, give me somethin.... C3: Um, she just said it was like, I think, The Flame, or the Fire? D: Moving on, moving on.... C3: Well, they never heard from her after that. It was like early 70s when she went; nobody at the University heard about the Karma Imperative. And well, they had, like, a funeral for her and everything. D: Well that is a tragedy. A human, real-life tragedy. It makes me sick, Anthony, SICK! These repugnant, selfish, clannish, cronyish, mystical, brainwashing pieces of dung that take away our loved ones. Conspiraspies you heard it! Anthony from Patoski has lost his grandmother to the Karma Imperative. You know what to do, you know who you are. I need some dirt on Karma so we can find Tony's Granny and SHUTDOWN the man! Back after these messages. A: You're listening to DJ Dan, shutting down The Man. July 5 ~DJ Dan 0705